"I don't really like to pick my nose. But I do sometimes. I'm not sure why, but I do when my nose is stocked up. When I pick my nose I'm not trying to get in trouble, but when my nose is really full, I can't take it any more, So I pick it. I wish I had something to make me stop, but I don't know what. Sometimes, I do really stupid things. Half the time I do things without thinking, but after, I realise I could have done better. I also feel like my nose makes more bugers than the average nose does.
At least I don't eat my bugers, I would never do that. I want to stop, but I don't know how. If I knew a way, I would use it. Mabey I could pute some thing over my fingers, but what? If you have tips I need them, I really really really wish that somehow, I could stop for good. If you ever picked your nose, I really need to know how you stoped.
My mom got on to my twice for picking my nose today. My adress is (no such luck crazy bloggers), male me the story of how you stoped picking your nose. Mabey I could stop by doing what you did. If you maled me your idias, that would be great."
14 comments:
I guess soaking you finger in vinegar would be a reminder to not pick with it but how would you explain the smell to your friends! I wish I had some words of wisdom to answer this heart-felt plea. Alas, I too find that booger picking is occasionally a convenient way to free the nasal passages and somehow emotionally satisfying. Boy, I hope nobody publishes this on a blog where my family might read it. ;)
Hmmm, how did you know to address this comment as "Uncle Gary"? Are you implying that one of you'r nephhews wrote this??? :)
I took a community college course in hand-writing analysis. Through careful deduction I was able to determine that the author's last name started with 'S', that he is male, under 5 feet tall and has a mother with a blog who gives writing assignments for bad habits. (It was a pretty advanced class for community college). I wasn't sure if my mom had a blog but then I remember that Randy was over 5 tall so that narrowed it down so more. That's all the information I'll give at this time. :)
Uncle Gary not to be confused with
GRAND PA Gary.
HEY GRANDPA! That's funny! For all of you confused, Bradley and Jake have a Great Grandpa Gary, and an Uncle Gary. Both of who we miss immensely!!!
that's close to the funniest thing i have ever read!!!! thanks for sharing the laugh. . .i needed a good chuckle! :)
Laura, this is Scott, Kyna's husband. Please pass this response on to the anonymous author.
Dear fellow nosepicker,
I, too, struggle with the problem of being an overpicker. All of our noses get stopped up, and women always expect us to just leave our piles of gold in our nostrils rather than digging them out. I have come to the conclusion after 30 years of very careful research that women must not produce near as many boogers as we do. I have never seen my mom or my wife pick their nose. Let me let you in on a little secret... women do have just as much gas as we do, though. My mom and wife try to pretend they never toot, but when nobody else is around, they can toot bigger and badder than any guy I know.
You say that sometimes you do really stupid things. That's ok, you're a guy, we are expected to do stupid things. Women are used to it. If we didn't do stupid things then what would your mom have you write about? And only half the time you do things without thinking? You deserve an award. Most guys do things without thinking at least 3/4 of the time. In fact, I think it has been weeks since the last time I thought before I said or did something.
I wish I knew a solution for you or at least a way you could pick your nose less. Unfortunately, I have not yet been able to stop, so I have no tips. I can, however, give you tips on how not to get caught. When you have a big ol' boogie you need to get out, just tell your mom to look out the window at the man walking on the sidewalk. When she looks away... DIG. But you better make it quick, and you must get rid of the evidence right away. You need to learn the quick pull and flick technique, and you will perfect it over time. You can also tell your mom that your brain itched and you had no other way to scratch it... this may only work once. Or, you can tell her you want to be an archaelogist, and you are just practicing.
I can also relate to getting in trouble for picking my nose. My wife gets on to me all the time for digging for gold. In fact, I am writing this letter in response to you right now because my wife caught me searching the great nostril canal and told me I had to type for 30 minutes to a boy with the same nose-pickin' problem I have.
Good luck finding a solution to your problem. If you cannot find a solution, ask your dad how to do the 1 finger on outside of nostril nose blow... I think they must teach that at coach's school.
Your fellow nosepicker,
Scott
Change "your dad" to Randy in my letter. Once again, I said something before I thought because I guessed at who was writing the letter.
Scott
Scott,
Thank you for all the pertinate information you are sharing with the writer. Since he agreed to let me post this, I told him I would let him read every bit of the post, so now I have to let him read all these "great" tips you have shared!!!THANKS! I'll let him share his comments with you tommorrow...right now I believe he is fast asleep.
P.S. Scott...How dare you reveal our tooting secrets!!!
Scott,
I thought what you said was pretty funny. Do you know anybody that has stopped picking his nose? I thought what you said about the dig and flick technique was hilarious, I'm still laughing. My mom asked me if I was going to try any of your techniques and I said no it probably wouldn't work on her.
Bradley Scott
PS guys can toot real bad with beans and bar b que
ha ha!
i think it is a male malady. you really shouldn't be too hard on him. maybe the author of this paper should just learn to do it when other people are not looking!
and tell him to never do it in the car. because i occasionally look into other people's cars and see them digging, and it makes me want to throw up!
i can't stop thinking about you guys tonight.
i love you so much.
we all love your family so much.
Here's my tip, Bradley: If you use a Kleenex (put it over your picking finger) and then insert it into your nose, you can still pick your nose only people will think that you are cleaning it out in a socially-acceptable manner because you are using a Kleenex. It works just as well with the added advantage that you don't have to find a place--like under the furniture--to store your booger after you have picked it. Just wrap the Kleenex around picked booger and throw it in the trash. Mission accomplished!
Happy pickin',
Deborah aka Heloise the Helpful Hints Lady
HAHAHAHA--your letter was hilarious!!!
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